Joke 1
A.A. Milne
Original post: http://csyd.es/1/98
Joke 2
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Joke 3
A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it" and put it down again.
This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army.
The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, "That's it."
Joke 4
Q: What did one eye say to the other?
A: Between you and me, something smells.
Joke 5
Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note: "Take only one, God is watching."
Moving through the line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A boy wrote a note: "Take all you want, God is watching the apples."
Joke 6
An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways. She decided she would take her lunch; sit with the workers; and talk with them.
She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over to the spot where the men were eating. Sporting a big smile, she walked up to the group and asked: "And do you men know Jesus Christ?"
They shook their heads and looked at each other.very confused.
One of the workers looked up into the steelworks and yelled out, "Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?"
One of the steelworkers yelled down, "Why?"
The worker yelled back, "'Cause his wife's here with his lunch."
Joke 7
A poor vagabond, traveling a country road in England, tired and hungry, came to a roadside inn with a sign reading: "George and the Dragon." He knocked.
The innkeeper's wife stuck her head out a window. "Could ye spare some victuals?" he asked. The woman glanced at his shabby clothes and obviously poor condition. "No!" she said rather sternly.
Could I have a pint of ale? "No!" she said again.
Could I at least sleep in your stable? "No!" By this time, she was fairly shouting.
The vagabond said, "Might I please...?" "What now?" the woman interrupted impatiently.
D'ye suppose, he asked, "I might have a word with George?"
Joke 8
Q: Why did the football coach go to the bank?
A: To get his quarterback.
Simplicity
Original post: http://csyd.es/1/99
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