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Sunday, November 5, 2017

Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 5 Nov 2017

 

Joke 1

J.K. Rowling

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/100


Joke 2

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.


Joke 3

I'm scared out of my mind, the stud replied. "Some pissed-off husband wrote me and said that he'd kill me if I didn't stop screwing his wife."

"So stop" the barkeep said.

"I can't" the womanizer replied, taking a long swill. "The prick didn't sign his name!"


Joke 4

Q: What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any.


Joke 5

Wife: "How would you describe me?"

Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."

Wife: "What does that mean?"

Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."

Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"

Husband: "I'm just kidding!"


Joke 6

Guy gets shipwrecked on an island. He finds that is it inhabited by all males. After a couple of days, he asks what they do for fun, and the men tell him, that once a month, they go to the back of the island, take a rowboat, and go to the island across the bay that has goats on it, and they have their way with them.

The guy is in disbelief, and says "I'll pass on that"

A few months go by, and the day of the trip across the island, he is the first on the boat, and the first one out of the boat when they get there, and runs up and starts making love to this goat. Well, all the rest of the guys are laughing their head off.

He turns and asks what the hell are they laughing at, and the guys say, "Well, you were the first to get out here, and you picked the UGLIEST goat."


Joke 7

Jacob age 85, and Rebecca age 79 are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way go past a drugstore. Jacob suggests that they go in. He addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?" The pharmacist answers, "Yes."

Jacob: "Do you sell heart medication?"

Pharmacist: "Of course we do."

Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"

Pharmacist: "All kinds."

Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?"

Pharmacist: "Definitely."

Jacob: "How about Viagra?"

Pharmacist: "Of course."

Jacob: "Medicine for memory?"

Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety."

Jacob: "What about vitamins and sleeping pills?"

Pharmacist: "Absolutely."

Jacob: "Perfect! We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts."


Joke 8

Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.


Courage is not the absence? of despair

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/101


 

 

 

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