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Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 31 Oct 2017

 

Joke 1

Martin Luther king, Jr.

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/7


Joke 2

I don’t believe in miracles. I rely on them.


Joke 3

Little Sam was out shopping with his mother, something he didn't like very much. But when they passed a toy store, Sam came to life. He saw a new toy in the window that he didn't have but wanted. Sam begged, pleaded and nagged but to no avail. He got so rude that his mother firmly said, "I'm very sorry Sam, but we didn't come out to buy you a toy."

Sam angrily said, "I've never met a woman as mean as you."

Holding his hand gently, she replied, "Sam, darling, one day you'll get married and then you will ... you really will, I promise you."


Joke 4

Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mother.


Joke 5

There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air.

The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength.

Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying. One tourist got exceedingly nervous about half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed.

With a trembling voice he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope. The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, "Whenever it breaks."


Joke 6

A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service.

After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation.

For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of those who were to be married.

Will those wanting to get married please come to the front? he requested.

Immediately, nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, and six single men stepped to the front.


Joke 7

After nearly 50 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband, begin to massage her in ways he hadn't in quite some time.

It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down, stopping just over her stomach.

He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, working down her side, passing gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf.

Then, he proceeded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.

As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, 'Honey, that was wonderful. Why did you stop?' To which he responded:.

'I found the remote.'


Joke 8

Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.


Life's Short

SydesJokes Blog

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/91


 

 

 

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